I'm probably not alone in the fact that my conversion to Islam has severely dampened my social life. I used to not be able to go five minutes without my phone ringing....now...days go by....I have been isolated from my previous world....At first I blamed the fact that I had changed my ways so people needed time to adjust, and that it was just something I had to get over. Now I am realizing that I have not completely let go of my old life.
I discovered this notion last night as I was sitting in a restaurant with my coworkers. None of my coworkers are Muslim, or really knew to much about it until I came along. As we were sitting there at the restaurant table on a friday night celebrating our recent certification, all of them downed beer after beer. For the past two years I have been tricking myself into believing that I needed to somehow make them feel comfortable with Islam by "bending" my comfort zone. If they see me in a place like this restaurant on friday night...somehow they wont think Islam is super strict and will maybe soften their resistance to it a bit. I realized that all this was accomplishing was changing their opinion of ME not the religion. A coworker actually slipped alcohol into my drink thinking that I was "trapped" and needed to be "freed" from my cell of non alcoholic nights out. I know this person (well at least I chose to believe) that this person did not mean anything by it, and were just trying to see if I liked alcohol, in some way that didn't have me consciously choosing to drink. I felt so terrible and violated. These people were not learning about Islam by being around me at all. I thought that if I "infiltrated the front lines" of DC's youth, than maybe even one of them would come out of this with something worth my discomfort. NOPE. All I have been doing is ruining my progress in my deen. May God forgive me and them.
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As Salaamu Alaikum,
ReplyDeleteI was born Muslim in a non-Muslim country. With hardly any Muslims at school, I always tried to assimilate where I felt I wasn't over stepping the boundries of Islam. When you young its just to fit in, but later when I was at varsity it was about introducing people to the beauty of Islam as well. At some point I became more orthodox, and saw how people who were my "best friends" suddenly took me as a joke, because I was no longer like them. As a person I hadn't changed much, but I no longer followed their way of life.
The sad reality is that people will not accept you until you are like them. It doesn't matter if you claim your religion to be Islam, you need to act like them. Islam however is a way of life and this they will never accept. The people that are in search of the guidance will not respond to a nominal muslim but rather a complete muslim, as offensive as others might view him, as he portrays what the person is looking for.
Alot of people subscribe to the "infiltrate" philosophy but in my experience as confrontational as it may sound, we are degrading Islam with no benefit. Islam is not a religion that is equal to other religions, it is truth and the others are falsehood. Bantering around the truth, will please enemies of the truth and deprive the honest seekers.
There is a difference between being kind and being an apologist. An apologist is a weak person, a kind person is someone that shows mercy despite his power. When someone is oppressing/mocking/disrespecting you, you don't react by taking the beating lying down. Similarly you find the perversion of people disregarding the poor and weak, such that a Muslim will not realise that it is a more correct form of dawah to show kindness to the weak. Honestly is showing that we are all the same, its just that I call God Allah, or fulfilling the rights of a weaker person over your own (not religious rights) the best manner of inviting towards Islam
It would very sad if you cut ties with your peers by segregating yourself from them. In the West, social bonding often takes place in restaurants/bars etc. While it is clear that one of your friends did not understand how much the impact of alcohol would make on you, you can still visit these venues and have a good time with your friends without drinking.
ReplyDeleteA friendly warning - too much segregation leads to parallel societies which is not a positive thing.