Becoming a True Muslim

I believe that I am constantly becoming a better Muslim (everyone in general should be trying in my opinion). Being a Muslim is like going to school. There is always something you can do better, always a test you could have studied harder for, always some points taken off. This week, I have fixed one of the major flaws in my Deen and al hamdililah I am still alive. This week I cut something out of my life that has been bothering me for too long. I will not share what it is because that is between me and God, but I encourage you all to try it. As soon as I cut out this thing, I felt and immediate closeness with God. I had chills, kid you not. I started to pray afterwards and I felt so close to God. I still do at this very moment. Each time I think about this thing and get incredibly sad, some stranger starts a conversation, or smiles, or mentions Islam, showing me that God is always with me.

I struggle with being a good Muslim everyday. I state this to everyone from the bottom of my heart. There is always room for improvement. Until the sun does not rise from the east we are being judged on our deeds. Please make the best of this world. Every time you take action, you should do it for God. Every time I take a step, I try to look at the beauty God has created around me. I feel tearful thinking about the life I had before Islam was revealed to me. All of those actions I took feel like distant memories but at the same time they do not feel like my own. I am not the person I was two years ago. It is very scary to see that.

I remember as a child crying my eyes out because I wasn't "feeling it" when I went to church. I didn't know what was wrong with me...why I wasn't "religious". I just totally didn't think that I was close to God.